One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
time to smoke my breakfast
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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