everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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