ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Found the puke drawer
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
