; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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