Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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