if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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