she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
