Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
