when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
