I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
