i barfeds in our rink
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I could fuck to npr.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
