I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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