What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
