so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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