I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
