Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
