are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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