well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
