god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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