I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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