Midget sex pt 2 tonight
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Congratulations! We have a period
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
