check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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