I heard we made out
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
