Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
