Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
