Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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