pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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