And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
