She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
