Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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