found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
