Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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