my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
