whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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