He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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