Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
