barbara walters just said penis...
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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