What a fucking waste of an outfit
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
