I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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