its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Sex in the backyard? Check.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
