I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize