I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
