Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
