It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
