while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
