Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
