I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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