Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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