If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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