he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
should my penis look like a turkey
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
