I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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